It has recently come to my attention that people are recognizing rape less and less a violent crime and more of a joke because so few know that there those around them are suffering in silence from such a violent event for just this reason. Victims of a violent crime, such as rape, rarely come forward. They suffer their pain alone and afraid of mockery. Around us those in their teens to their 30s are more and more using the word in a way that suggests they “dominated someone” in a game not realizing the full impact they can be having on a friend or loved one.
For years I have seen people use the term in chat rooms and speaking about it as if it is a one time event that once past should be forgotten. Sometimes to a point non victims suggest it is something that is a simple “it happened and now move on” event. Despite that it is publically deemed a “bad thing” along with other violent crimes like burglary & murder. But unlike the victims of murder, the victims can’t be hurt anymore and it is their family members have to live on with the loss of a loved one, rape is a life long personal battle with the world around them.
So often those who suffer rape, in any form, suffer alone and in corners for fear of being ridiculed or accused of lying. Victims of date rape, rape by a stranger, and even child molestation all suffer the same horrible fates just in different variations. They all live life trying to justify their continued life and constantly reexamine the world and friends around them because they don’t know if they will ever be “safe” again. They rarely ever find themselves in “healthy” or “normal” relationships after the event happens because they question themselves, their bodies, and if they are free to be themselves for fear that they “brought it on themselves.”
Some might try to argue that rape itself is a momentary event and that it is the “post tramatic stress disorder” like symptoms that are the problem. But rape isn’t just a physical momentary violent act. It is mentally debilitating and actually morphs the world around a victim to a place most people can’t fathom. Others who suffer violent crimes such as burglary while in the location, can come close to comprehending this distrust because they themselves are violated in that their residence/vehicle have become violated in a way they can get away. Those who suffer from burglary can sell and try to move on, but still rarely do they feel safe as they did before the event ever again.
But with rape, you can’t discard your body, you can’t just walk away from the event. You carry that wound in your soul, and sometimes even your body, everywhere you go. Every scream they hear, every movie with even implied violence that could lead up to a forced sexual encounter can cause a victim to relive that event.
Some choose to face that pain and not let it control their lives… It’s difficult, often times a constant battle because of increasing use of this word, but battle to overcoming is the the only way to start to find your foothold in life, in reality. But MANY, have lost a world of opportunities because of this “instant.” Many can’t face it for years, decades… Sometimes never. And death is our only escape from the body they are forced to live with every day.
Please remember this the next time you hear someone use this word in a way other than as its true and vile meaning and take the time to look at these statistics… This list is likely a fraction of the people who might be suffering around you, because these statistics are based on only those that came forward. http://www.disastercenter.com/crime/
