One does not have to be anything other than oneself and accept your partner for all their strengths and weaknesses if you love them. Being introduced to the poly lifestyle can be incredibly hard, almost jarring, and difficult to get past the traditional “cheating” perception monogamy portrays it as. But poly lifestyles can be very healthy and sincere if the couples as individuals can get past the “it’s about me” mentality and migrate into the “it’s about us” mindset.
For example, when you care about someone who is poly but push for them to be in a monogamous lifestyle, they start to become reserved, less happy, and thriving than when you first started dating. They don’t smile as often. It is like forcing a pack animal forced into solidarity and it eventually goes awry, either due to stress build-up or they “betray” you.
Honesty is the primary point of being poly so that partners don’t have to hide who they are. But it’s ok to ask for some solid discussions about one’s needs and concerns too. But know the lifestyle isn’t about changing oneself, but about accepting who both are as individuals, coming together.